Rudy Giuliani might be the newest member of Donald Trumps legal team, but it seems more like the former New York mayor has actually been working overtime for Robert Mueller. In several bizarre interviews, Giuliani has directly contradicted the White Houses official narrative—revealing, most notably, that Trump not only knew about the payment Michael Cohen made to Stormy Daniels during the campaign, but that he also reimbursed it.
But John Oliver, for one, doesnt understand why anyone would be surprised by Giulianis behavior. He dedicated a long segment of Sundays Last Week Tonight to reminding us about the ex-mayors odd history—and, true to form, bought up a few key URLs to help in that effort, including “giuliani2024.com.” Better safe than sorry, right?
“To truly understand Giuliani, you have to go back before 9/11,” Oliver began. “He first made a name for himself as a federal prosecutor, where he acquired a deep and lasting taste for the limelight—performing stunts like going undercover to buy crack while dressed in a Hells Angels vest and a white dress shirt. Which made him look less like a street junkie and more like the third-best member of an all-dad blues band called Dad to the Bone.”
On a slightly more relevant note, Oliver reminded viewers that during Giulianis own campaign for mayor, his team flagged what they called in their own memo a “weirdness factor” surrounding Giuliani. Why? Well, for starters, his first marriage was to his second cousin; the couple claimed they were unaware of their familial relation until after theyd been married for years. Oliver, however, was unconvinced by that argument: “Oh, bullshit. He didnt think it was just a little bit weird at the wedding ceremony when one side of the church was both families, and the other was just one very nervous photographer who didnt take a single picture?”
Giuliani won the election anyway, kicking off a mayoral administration known, primarily, for two things: being extraordinarily tough on crime and overseeing New Yorks recovery from 9/11. At one point, Oliver noted, Giuliani moved out of the mayors residence amid accusations that hed had an affair—which Giuliani addressed in a press conference, where he also revealed his intention to separate from his wife before he had actually told that to his wife.
“Wow!” Oliver said. “That is just about the most humiliating way possible to end a marriage—other than announcing publicly, Whoopsie, I boned my cousin.”
The events following 9/11, however, largely erased the public memory of those odd incidents—leaving a sterling reputation, sealed with a Time “Person of the Year” cover. In 2007, however, Giulianis disastrous presidential campaign reset the dial again—transforming the former mayor from a respected figure into one who took gigs including narrating AMCs “Mob Week.”
“That is a steep fall!” Oliver said. “Just 10 years after being named Time Person of the Year, Giuliani was doing V.J. work for a cable networks edited-for-television presentation of Scarface. Just think about how crazy that is. That would be like if in 10 years from now, Bravo announced a Fuckboys of the 90s marathon, hosted by Malala Yousafzai.”
From there, Giulianis trajectory was one many of us likely remember: after floating around as a cable-news pundit for years, he caught another big break when Trump named him cyber-security adviser for reasons largely unknown. As Oliver put it, “If you watch Giuliani for even 10 seconds, you do really get the sense that he tries to check his e-mail by opening a Word doc and typing, Hi Google, check e-mail, thanks, Rudy.” Oliver thinks Giuliani likely landed the title thanks to his willingness to relentlessly bash Hillary Clinton, stoking conspiracy theories about the ex-presidential candidate across cable-news networks. Giuliani was, for instance, one of the voices who pushed the narrative that Clinton was secretly ill during the campaign.
Which brings us to Olivers stunt for the week. If you visit hillaryclintonillness.com, you might notice that it redirects to something curious: an animation of two ferrets having sex. Why? Its a little tribute to a time when Giuliani, as mayor, got into perhaps the most perplexing fight of all time—with a ferrets-rights activist. For an animation of two ferrets who are cousins and not fornicating—which Oliver guesses will also bug Giuliani—check out giuliani-security.com. And finally, if you want to see a dancing ferret flipping the bird, try giuliani2024.com—because as Oliver put it, “At the rate were going, he is so fatally flawed as a human being that hes probably going to end up president.”
Get Vanity Fairs HWD NewsletterSign up for essential industry and award news from Hollywood.Full ScreenPhotos:22 Movies and TV Shows That Will Save Us in 2018
Westworld (Season 2)
HBO is once again hoping youll ignore the big Game of Thrones-shaped hole in its schedule and turn your attention back to the sci-fi mind game that is Westworld. The Emmy-nominated series, starring Evan Rachel Wood and Thandie Newton, is ready to confound you once again in its second season. Until its spring 2018 premiere, take a trip back in time and revisit nine burning questions we still have about the finale.Photo: By John P. Johnson/HBO.
Yara Shahidi takes the lead in this youthful Black-ish spin-off set to air on Freeform starting Jan. 3, 2018. In this series, Zoey is finally off to college, stumbling through cringeworthy rites of passage like embarrassing herself at a frat party and hiding secrets from her parents.Photo: By Eric Liebowitz/Freeform.
Every superhero you love is coming out with a new movie in 2018. In no particular order, get ready for a bounty that includes: Black Panther,Avengers: Infinity War,Deadpool 2,The New Mutants,X-Men: Dark Phoenix,Ant-Man and the Wasp,Venom, and Aquaman.Photo: By Zade Rosenthal/©Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures/Everett Collection.
The Winter Olympics
Tis the season to watch a bunch of perfect human specimens fight for tiny gold medallions. This years Winter Olympics will kick off on Feb. 9, 2018 in Pyeongchang, South Korea.Photo: By Julian Finney/Getty Images.
After breaking out on Master of None and winning a historic Emmy for one of this years best TV episodes, Lena Waithe is ready to claim her spot in the prestige-TV realm. Enter The Chi, her Showtime series about young people coming of age in Chicago, set to premiere on Jan. 7.Photo: By Matt Dinerstein/SHOWTIME.
A Wrinkle in Time
The classic Madeleine LEngle tale is finally coming to the big screen on March 9, 2018, thanks to Disney and director Ava DuVernay. The sci-fi story about a girl tesseracting her way through time to find her missing father will star newcomer Storm Reid alongside stars like Oprah Winfrey,Mindy Kaling,Reese Witherspoon, and Chris Pine.Photo: By Atsushi Nishijima/Courtesy of Walt Disney Studios.
Solo: A Star Wars Story
After some catastrophic ups and downs, Han Solos origin story will finally be revealed to us on May 25, 2018. The Star Wars spin-off stars Alden Ehrenreich as the galactic smuggler and also features Donald Glover as Lando Calrissian and Emilia Clarke playing a mysterious character named Kira.Photo: From Lucasfilm Ltd./Everett Collection.PreviousNext
Laura BradleyLaura Bradley is a Hollywood writer for VanityFair.com.