Deck the halls and joy to the world, weve all become a bunch of hate-watching grinches who cant get enough of ragging on the round up of Christmas movies on Netflix.
Much like Christmas, this is a yearly event.
Last years A Christmas Prince really tested our patience, but this years offering, The Princess Switch, and not forgetting the great sequel to A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding (it really is what it says on the tin) has broken the camels back.
But, frankly, were so here for it. But, like, why so masochistic?
Its the Love Island of the festive season – you hate to watch it, you whinge about watching it, you have so many questions: yet you cant get enough. Truly, you love it in spite of how bad it is.
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The Netflix has picked up on the fact were so down to hate-watch til our eggnog is warm (is eggnog warm? Cold? Who even drinks the stuff) so they added a ruddy bonanza of titles to warm the cockles and frustrate the hardened critic we once thought we were.
Last year was the king of Christmas with A Christmas Prince and A Christmas Inheritance. Plus, while its not Netflix-made, its on the platform – a flippin Christmas Wedding Planner.
The Christmas Wedding Planner? A wedding planner is cliché enough, god bless the good lord Jennifer Lopez, but add some Christmas cheer and we most certainly cant even.
But, on the other hand, oh yes we can.
These movies are filled with love, sap, clichés and a script that would make Frankie Muniz weep.
Its just so flippin predictable, with this years Vanessa Hudgens-helmed Princess Switch borrowing basically everything from The Parent Trap. Ness has even done a Lindsay Lohan and plays both the baker Stacy De Novo and princess Lady Margaret (does ace an English accent tho…).
Evidently Netflix has noticed that while were more than happy to slam the flick, were watching, popcorn in hand and cynicism in our eyes.
But even Netflix is wondering why the films are so popular, after they wrote on Twitter last year: To the 53 people whove watched A Christmas Prince every day for the past 18 days: Who hurt you?
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You did, Netflix, YOU DID.
The stats for how many times these flicks have been streamed is hard to come by, and its impossible to know how much theyve made as there is no box office stat – but cmon, if Netflix has said that 53 people have watched A Christmas Prince every g-darn day for weeks, that says something.
Netflix is yet to call into question our love of The Princess Switch, or the Princey sequel, or that great monstrosity that is the chrissy wedding planner, but when it comes to the latest offering, we watched it in droves. And yet, have no idea if we like it yet.
Oh oh oh Ladies & gents, its time. Netflix Christmas movie night. The Princess Switch is up and good LORD its a hot mess.
— Rachel (@bowie_in_space) December 21, 2018
Okay but the Princess Switch was kind of iconic…
— Grace Hale! (@gracehale00) December 21, 2018
am I really about to watch the princess switch again
— {
} (@hannahrox763) December 21, 2018
The thing with these movies is, they shouldnt get as many views and buzz about them as they do – if we were judging them as a non-Christmas movie, that is. But there is just something about the annual Christmas schmaltz that ropes us in year after year. We look forward to the awkward.
Why?
According to Dr Adam Galpin, senior lecturer in psychology at the University of Salford, who, on the subject of why we love bad movies, told the New Statesman: …it gives you a sense of superiority and a sense of mastery and competence because if you can recognise why its bad, you have expertise in this area of film consumption. It makes you feel like an expert film critic.
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Its also got something to do, according to him, with the pack mentality of coming together to watch it together, and then talking about it after, mystifying in the WTF of the plot, the cringe of the dialogue and trying to answer the questions we were all left.
Bad movies bring us together just as much as the good ones.
Cornball viewing might not fly the other 11 months of the year, but in December for some, mystical, baffling, brilliant reason we just accept its four weeks of eating up whatever ham Netflix is going to throw at us.
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Its almost like the lack of shame and complete awareness of what theyre doing makes the whole palaver more appealing – much like the Lifetime biopics of the Royal love stories bandied out at each engagement, there is no denial films like The Princess Swap is complete 90s-grade swill.
But butter us up and stick it on for another round – weve still got four days til Christmas.
The Princess Switch is on Netflix now. As is A Christmas Prince 2: The Royal Wedding. You know, if youre into that.
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